1) Listen—Just really listen. Don’t feel intimidated if you are not a “professional.” The person in front of you doesn’t need a “polished professional.” He/she needs a caring, sincere human being.

2) Sincerity—Be sincere. Express that you are “sorry that you’re going through
this.”

3) Open-ended Questions—Ask open-ended questions to help draw the person
out regarding his/her feelings and thoughts. Try to be specific.
Examples: At what other time in your life have you felt what you’re feeling now? What are some things you and your family are doing together to get through this? Where does God fit in at this time? What are your plans when you go home? Also, once someone is talking about feelings and beginning to open up, you can just reflect, say back to them in question form, what they are saying. This invites them to continue and elaborate.

4) Over responsibility—Don’t feel compelled or obligated to have to give advice.

5) Include Others—Try to involve/include others that will share the load with you
of helping to get this person through their grief.

6) Appropriate Self-disclosure—If you have been through grief or loss of a loved one yourself, you can sensitively share what some of your feelings and reactions were, as well as what was helpful to you and what wasn’t.

7) Persevere—Just be there. Just be a friend. Sometimes there just isn’t
anything that can be said. Just being with the person, even when there is silence, is very valuable and communicates a lot. Avoid the pressure to have to be saying something. Silence, and even shedding tears together, is often more healing than words.